"Conflict is the spirit of the relationship asking itself to deepen." -Sobonfu Somé
Mediation or Conflict Transformation is the practice of engaging in conflict as an opportunity for growth.
As a Conflict Mediator, I can help you access Conflict Transformation by holding a container and guiding a process to support you in expressing and addressing the issues you are facing in a relationship. In this role, I act as a neutral-third party - I will not judge your situation or tell you how to solve it. Instead, I will help everyone involved clearly express and understand their feelings and needs to support you in coming up with your own solutions and agreements.
This service is for you if:
you are feeling frustrated or unheard in a relationship dynamic
your conversations around conflict feel circular or stuck
you are ready to seek understanding and grow
"The price of not engaging in dialogue is the death of relationship"
TRAINING AND EXPERIENCE
I am a Certified Mediator in the State of Washington.
I have been mediating with the Dispute Resolution Center of Thurston County for the last two years, where I completed the following mediation trainings:
40-Hour Professional Mediation Training, January 2020
Family Mediation Training, November 2020
Advanced Family Mediation Training, April 2021
I have also taken a number of other trainings which inform how I hold space - click the button below to learn more.
Lineage of learning
"Lux was very good at mediating a very difficult conversation I needed to have, from helping to coordinate scheduling to guiding the conversation. They were clear about the structure of the conversation, timing, and boundaries, and remained present in guiding throughout. I felt incredibly supported and safe while navigating a very emotional and triggering conversation. They were neutral and non judgemental. I walked away from the conversation with much to process, but with a better sense of closure and trajectory toward healing. I couldn't have had this conversation without their help. I highly recommend Lux for mediation."
RATES AND SERVICES
If you cannot afford these rates but you feel like you would benefit from receiving my services, please reach out! I will work with you to try to find a rate that works for both of us.
What is the mediation process like?
Intake: I always start mediations with an intake process, meeting with each participant separately for up to an hour to fully hear and understand the situation from their perspective. In these sessions, I will ask you clarifying questions about your situation and about what you need in order to feel supported in the mediation. I will then go over the process with you, receive your input on the guidelines we hold for our session, and answer any questions you have about mediation.
Assessment: I also use the intake process to assess whether mediation is the right fit for the situation - mediation is not possible when participants are unwilling to hear another perspective, and not appropriate in situations with active physical, sexual, or psychological abuse. If I feel that your situation is a good fit for mediation, we will arrange a date and a time container for the session.
Mediation Set Up: For the mediation itself, my role as the mediator is to guide the process and your role as the participants is to share your concerns and perspectives to provide the content for the discussion. After I open the space with a grounding exercise, an overview of the process ahead, and our guidelines for the conversation, each client will have uninterrupted time to share their personal perspective. You will then have the option to co-create an agenda for your conversation, which is especially helpful if there are multiple topics or trigger points driving your conflict.
Mediation Process: After that, the space is open for conversation between the participants to discuss each agenda item, make proposals, and hopefully come to some agreements. I will intervene as needed to check for mutual understanding, uphold our guidelines, and redirect your conversation back to the item you are wanting to discuss. Both the participants and the mediators have the option to call a caucus - a one-on-one check in with each participant and the mediator - at any time if that feels helpful to move the conversation forward. I will take notes tracking any agreements you make to share with you after the session. If necessary, we will use the last few minutes of our time to schedule another mediation session.
Can I have a support person present?
Within an interpersonal 2-party mediation, each participant is welcome to have one support person present in a non-speaking role. You can talk to your support person during breaks or a caucus (private meeting between you and the mediators). If you want support people to be directly involved in the mediated conversation, request a multi-party mediation or a restorative community circle.